From The New York Times, April 28, 2006: Former Mayor David N. Dinkins, who frequently rides the Tram to play tennis on the Island, testified that the Tramway not only served the Island’s residents, but also helped promote tourism in that part of the City. "There are bunches of them that come," he said. "And those tourists help to support some of the industry that otherwise would not be on that Island."

It looks like the end of the line for Roosevelt Island’s world-famous tourist attractions. RIOC officials announced this week that closures would occur in the wake of the Tram stoppage, because the once robust infusion of tourists who have kept the Island’s wallets stuffed has dwindled to a few stragglers who exited the F train by mistake, thinking this was the fastest way to Bloomingdale’s.

A RIOC official confirmed that several popular tourist destinations, like the Hellgate Dunk ‘n’ Dive attraction at the northern tip of the Island near the Lighthouse, would be shuttered. Gone too will be the Spookhouse Ride at the Blackwell Farm, where screams of delight were routinely heard as tourists crashed through rotting floorboards.

The official, who cloaked himself in anonymity for fear of retribution by his superiors, met this reporter in the parking garage. Fears for his safety proved unfounded when the reason he was so late turned out to be that the elevator was out of service for repairs. Again.

"Everyone knows that tourism is the lifeblood of this Island," whispered the official hoarsely from beneath a fedora, trenchcoat and sunglasses. "The longer the Tram stays down, those millions just dry up."

Does this mean the little Red Bus will no longer be loaded to groaning with happy tourists, snapping away with their cameras at the construction crews of Southtown? Is it the end of the pitter-patter of children’s feet amid the ruins of the smallpox hospital?

"It’s worse than that," confided the RIOC official. "The Island’s fine dining establishments will be affected. No more pizza parties are scheduled."

He declined to specify whether this unfortunate development was due to the tourist dropoff or the fact that the pizza place had already lost its lease.

While the Tram is being fixed – or "fixed," as RIOC bulletins will now remind us – production has halted on the popular Nellie Bly action figures that were selling so well on Main Street. Manny Smith, a street vendor who in better days made enough change off the tourist trade to rent a plot in the community gardens, said he had to stop stocking his once-trendy "Grant Me Asylum" T-shirts due to lack of demand.

Smith misses the tourists. "Like Dinkins said, there were bunches of them," he said mournfully. "I can just make them out across the river, milling about by the Tram on Second Avenue, confused about the closing and wondering what’s left to do in New York now that the Octagon squaredances have been called off."

Indeed, the weekly Name That Island quizfest drew few players last weekend. No one cheered when the names Hog Island, Blackwell’s Island or Welfare Island came up. Nurse’s aides were on hand to treat the few despondent tourists who did show up. "They’re in shock," said one nurse. "Not to be able to ride the Main Street flume anymore, it’s like they’ve lost a dear friend."

At least one plucky tourist was undeterred by the Tram closing and said she would not stop her yearly pilgrimage here from the Russian steppes. "I’m here to support the industry that would otherwise not be on the Island," she said, looking around anxiously for a bakery or a sports bar. "Tram or no Tram, Roosevelt Island is a tourist paradise, and I wouldn’t miss this trip for the world. Next time, I’ll bring my countrymen. Bunches of them."

Jami Bernard is a film critic for the New York Daily News and a proud new resident of Roosevelt Island.